Toxic ‘dillas, Fire Orks, and No Mas Fumare
p.s. I didn’t proofread this and I really don’t otherwise care. So my apologizes for a lengthy ramble about my weekend…
Today was a bit of a clusterfuck. I will keep it short since the personal blogs are usually boring for others. Today started last night when Jon and I were hanging out wrapping up remaining code issues with the Adamantine Arts Fine Art Print Emporium. Around 8:00 we decided to go the Tracy’s Saloon, my corner watering hole. To our utter glee, there was $3 taps for Minnesota beers and half price appetizers. We went crazy and bought an order of wings each, some mozza sticks, and a quesadilla. Over the course of an hour or three, we ate and drank until we were pleasantly full - all the while having great conversations. When we were content, the quesadilla was still untouched, so we just brought it home. We did a bit more work and called it a night. Jon went home, but I had to stay up for my bedding to dry until 4am.
I did snitch a wedge of quesadilla before bed and noticed it tasted odd, but figured it was the the olives mixing with the salsa or something. I did wake up feeling a bit lousy at 1pm, but didn’t think anything of it. I ate all but one remaining wedge for breakfast.
Jon came over for round two of hacking away at the site around 2pm. I was writing up the help documentation and he was working on some Javascript bits. Around 3, I was having a hard time staying alert and felt really groggy. After wrapping up what I was immediately working on, I decided to lay down to rest. All wrapped up in the blankets, I started shivering uncontrollably. My teeth were chattering. My wrists and ankles felt like they were slowly freezing like blocks of ice and were hard to move. I was doing this full body shivering like something out of the damn Exorcist.
While I lay there, I swear I was going to die. I had convinced myself that it was food poisoning from the damn quesadilla. I was thinking about how the forensics team would look in my fridge and find the last wedge of quesadilla and analyze it to find that it had E.coli and that my parents would get my life insurance policy because I was going to die alone (well Jon was in the other room, but that is not what i meant). The my folks could sue Tracy’s and use that money so my little brother could be financially stable while at college (unlike me). It honestly seemed like a good scenario. I debated a will in my head. Jon gets my electronic drums. My brother Matt my truck. I’d let Anya have all my artworks except for “Steeple” since I secretly promise to give that to Jenn. I’d probably give my Theremin to my nephew. Then I thought about Adamantine Arts and how I felt pretty confident that Sarah would make the thing go forward to success even after my passing. While I didn’t have much to give people, I did feel pretty good about the life I had lived. There were some mistakes here and there - some missed opportunities, but all in all, I was content. With that thought, I prepared to sink into the swarling black mable of fever induced death.
BUT WAIT. This is stupid. I threw off the covers, hobbled to the kitchen grab some tea. I asked Chris if he had a thermometer so I could figure out if this was serious enough to go to the doctor. He didn’t have one, so eh, whatever. He offered a heating blanket, so i went back to my bedroom with a heating blanket some tea and put on about 10 layers. I then went to the bathroom, and while I didn’t feel nauseous, I was pretty sure purging would make me feel a ton better. I dragged the painting step ladder because I didn’t want to kneel on the cold floor. So there I sat, on a ladder, heaving. Once I felt the job accomplished, I went to bed with my heating blanket jacked up and my snow suit.
After waking up 3 hours later, I felt a lot better. Go figure, I was about ready to have my pilot light snuffed out. hrrmm..
Anyway, so here I sit feeling better. All is well, but I probably should get to bed shortly. However, I wanted to write about this event and a few other oddities…
The last time I felt like I did today was the winter of 2003/2004. I was home alone in my apartment over holiday break since my mom worked and so we moved the family get together to the 31st. That nasty flu was going around that was killing people and everyone was worried. I’m not a fan of flu shots, and so I obviously didn’t have one. Anyway, one night around 8 or so, I felt the shivers come one and decided I should take action. I cranked the heat, ridiculously bundled up, curled into ball under blankets covered with my entire wardrobe that i was not otherwise wearing. I started to hallucinate from the fever while nearly chipping teeth shivering so hard. I slowly passed out.
In my fever induced slumber, I had a dream. I think the Lord of the Rings movie had just come out and I perhaps had that on my mind. Regardless, the dream consisted of the ugly and terrible Fire Orks marching to battle through volcanic rubble and shifting tectonic plates. On the other side of he world, the Ice Elves were fastening their quivers of icicles and blew away to battle through the gusty blizzard winds. The battle the unfolded was epic and terrifying. Many lifes were lost, and in the end, the Fire Orks were triumphant and sublimating the elves in water vapor.
When I woke up the next morning, I was sweaty, but no longer shivering. I was actually fine. After a shower, I felt great. I’m pretty sure the dream was my subconscious interpreting how the the immune system works. Or maybe I was in control of the dream and used that to force my immune system to pounce the flu virus. Or maybe I am just a huge dork. Either way, I was fine and right as rain.
Cool.
As a separate thought, I think my perceived near death experience today got me thinking more about my overall health. I mean, looking back, I used to eat waaay better and feel waaaay better. I used to run! Now I get tired raking the lawn.
So, I decided that I am going to stop smoking. Not try to stop, not look at it as a gesture, but STOP STOP. As I write this, I have been smoke free for 3 hours and it is bed time. I am going to put one of those patches on and hope I wake up in the morning with my breath smelling like roses and my lungs like a freshly swept chimney. Two of my coworkers decided to quit today too, so I think it is in the stars. OCTOBER 14, 2007 the day I nearly died and the day i started my life over.
Huzzah.
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please stop smoking