Am I the cause for the snow?
No foolin’, it snowed all day yesterday, and all last weekend (Easter weekend). This is ridiculous. This is one of the worst winters I can remember - almost entirely for the weather.
But I had a thought. I promised myself going into the winter that I would quit smoking by the end of winter. As Spring is inevitably coming, I have been thinking about my promise. Every nice day I have been thinking “I’ll just finish my pack from yesterday and be done with it” but then always buy another pack. This has been going on for a few weeks now.
It is very ego centric to think that Mother Nature, perhaps, is trying to help me keep my promise by dragging winter out until I am able to quit - however, it is a fun idea to entertain. Convince yourself whatever you need to, right?
So last night around 8 was my last cigarette. I was trampsing around in the slush with wet feet to go buy some. As I was walking some homeless guy asked to bum a smoke, so I just gave him the pack. He acted like it was Christmas and was so amazingly grateful, but then I felt bad because now he is killing himself with the thing that was killing me. Thinking about it makes me anxious, which makes me want to smoke…. but I don’t do that anymore.
I put on a patch before bed. The usual crazy dream sleep ensued. I am feeling pretty alright this morning, but definitly craving a smoke. I think I am going to take it very easy today. I would like to bike ride and paint, but we’ll see. So anywho, wish me luck. I this 4 year addiction is finally over. holla.
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If this snow is because of you, I’m begging you - please stop. I can’t take any more.